


Awed by her splendor

by Charturnus



Category: Gentleman Jack (TV)
Genre: Anne Lister - Freeform, Anne has some mild body image issues, Anne's POV, Emotions galore, F/F, Fluff, Gratuitous Smut, Local top gives over control to her cute bottom girlfriend, Smut, so many feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2020-02-28 13:24:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18757309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charturnus/pseuds/Charturnus
Summary: In retrospect Anne didn’t know how it had come to this, all she knew is that she was glad it had. And it all started with just a question.





	Awed by her splendor

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back with another fic!  
> I had no idea what to write about for the better part of this past week, but I had the most boring work shift ever yesterday which left me with a lot of free time to think. I came up with this and I was so intent on thinking up plot points I couldn't fall asleep.  
> And now here it is! Let me know if you enjoy it!
> 
> P.S  
> I know the beginning is a bit rough, it gets better though, I promise! I'm just not good with dialogue.

They lay side by side in Ann’s bed, both of them panting. Ann was naked, wearing only a content smile and Anne was still dressed in her undergarments. She sat up in to brush the hair from her sweaty brow, her hand was still wet with Ann’s arousal, she wiped it quickly on the sheets before looking over at her. Ann’s golden hair framed her face as though it were a halo, the flush on her chest and face was already subsiding. Anne had spent a glorious hour between the younger woman’s legs, she had made her orgasm until she begged her to stop.

When she turned to look at her, Ann was regarding her with curiosity in her eyes. She liked her eyes very much, they were a piercing blue and on some occasions, she felt as though they looked right through her.

‘’What is it?’’ Anne said, a faint smile on her lips. To her great surprise, Ann’s brow furrowed.

‘’Why don’t you ever take your clothes off?’’ Anne hadn’t expected this, she didn’t really know what to say but her answer came before she had given it any real thought.

‘’I do, I’m not wearing my clothes right now’’ Ann looked slightly annoyed at this, so before she could retort Anne spoke again.

‘’I just prefer it this way, you don’t mind it, do you?’’ Ann bit her lip and cocked her head.

‘’I don’t mind it, per se. It’s just that I… Well, Anne, you get to see me naked. I’d like to see you like that too’’

Ann was looking at her with those eyes, those _damned_ eyes. Those clear blue eyes full of curiosity, wonder and something else entirely, something that told Anne that this girl would do anything to make her happy. At first, Anne had often thought her foolish for this, knowing that if she were to ask her for the world, Ann would try to give it to her. Now however, sitting here and looking at this girl, no, this woman. She knew, even if it frightened her, that she was the foolish one, that if Ann were to ask her for the world, she would move heaven and earth to make it happen. She thought to herself that perhaps that wasn’t foolish at all, perhaps that was simply love.

When she forced her attention back to the moment, Ann was still looking at her. Anne wanted to ask her a thousand questions, she wanted to know why most of all. And despite already knowing what Ann would say, she asked anyway

‘’Why?’’

The answer came so quickly, so readily, Anne thought she ought to have expected it.

‘’Because I love you.’’ ‘’Anne, I want to see you like you get to see me and I want to touch you like you get to touch me’’

Anne swallowed hard. She knew Ann was sincere and that made it all worse, or better, she couldn’t tell her feelings apart right now.

‘’I could make you feel the way you make me feel. I promise I’ll try my best, Anne’’

She wanted to laugh, or maybe she wanted to weep. Sweet Ann, all she wanted was to give. She didn’t want to use Anne for selfish pleasures, all she wanted was to make her happy. And who would she be to deny her this? Her girl, her sweet, honest, girl. She couldn’t withhold this from her, Ann wouldn’t hurt her. She couldn’t.

She looked at Ann for a while, then she took both of her hands in her own and said

‘’If that’s what you truly want, my love, you shall have it’’

She kissed her briefly, only breaking away so she could begin to remove her undergarments, but when her hands moved to undo the buttons on her nightshirt, they shook ever so slightly. Ann moved closer to her, sitting up on her knees.

‘’Let me help you’’ She said. Somehow Anne knew it wasn’t a request, so she let her own hands drop as Ann’s took over. There was a great deal of fumbling but after a short while Anne too, was naked.

Ann didn’t laugh, like Marianna did the first time she had seen Anne truly naked. She didn’t smile either, or say anything. She was just looking at her, with that sparkle of curiosity in her eyes.

She had _that_ look in her eyes again, she was gazing at Anne the same way she did when she was making love to her. Ann liked to look down to see Anne’s fingers slipping in and out of her, she liked to see the way their bodies fit together. She was giving her that same look now, her eyes were overbright and her mouth hung slightly open. Anne knew what she was going to say, half a second before she did. She didn’t want to hear it but she couldn’t stop her.

Ann lifted a hand to trace the older woman’s collarbones and whispered: ‘’You’re beautiful, Anne’’

Ann was looking at her like she was her whole entire world and Anne didn’t know why, but it hurt ever so slightly. She didn’t know what to say, truth be told, she didn’t even know if she wanted to be beautiful. And for the first time, she didn’t have the words to express to Ann how she felt, so instead, she took hold of the hand skirting over her collarbones and pressed two kisses to it. One on her palm and one on the back of her hand, then she leaned in to kiss her in true. She tried to put as much emotion and meaning behind it as she possibly could, hoping against hope that Ann would understand all the words she couldn’t say.

She didn’t want to be beautiful, but what she did want to be, she did not know. Or maybe she did, maybe all she wanted to be was Ann’s, like Ann was hers. When they broke apart, emotion engulfed her, she wanted to cry but she didn’t know why. For a moment she wished she could turn away and hide from Ann, she didn’t want her to see the insecurity and fear in her eyes.

The truth was that Anne had never liked her body.

She was thin where she ought to be full and full where she ought to be thin. Her breasts were much too small, they had come when she was 12 and they hadn’t changed since. They couldn’t even fill her hand and their shape reminded her vaguely of small pears. Sometimes she thought, she barely looked like a woman. She barely had any breasts, hips or buttocks.

She didn’t look like Ann at all, who _did_ look like a woman and Anne truly thought she was beautiful. Ann was soft, fair and graceful. Her hair was golden, both on top of her head and between her legs. Her nipples were as rosy as her lips or her cheeks when she blushed. Her breasts, hips and buttocks were full and Anne loved nothing more than to grab here there as she made love to her.

She didn’t like to admit it, not even to herself, but she was ashamed. Not of her own nakedness but rather of her vulnerability. Now she was sat here in front of Ann, naked as the day she born, she felt more insecure and more vulnerable than she had in years.

Ann hadn’t moved, she hadn’t laughed or run away. She was still here, looking at her with those infernal eyes that Anne was sure would someday be her downfall.

Ann took one of Anne’s hands in her own and pressed two kisses to it, the way Anne normally did to her. One on her palm and one on the back of her hand. Then she looked up and spoke in a whisper but her voice was full of certainty.

‘’You don’t have to be afraid.’’ ‘’Let me love you, let me show you exactly how much I love you.’’

Anne could have wept. This young woman, this beautiful, wonderful person, wanted her. She wanted her in a way that no one had before, the women before Ann had asked to see her like this, of course. But always for their own gain, not for Anne's pleasure, or for love. They always wanted or demanded something from her, but not Ann. Ann wanted to give, Anne understood that she would give her everything she had until there was nothing left and she only had to ask for it.

It took her, what felt like years, to find her voice, When she spoke, it was in a hoarse whisper. It was only one word, but they both understood what it meant for Anne to say it.

‘’Please’’

Ann smiled at her, not cruelly, or mockingly. No, she smiled a true smile, a smile that made the anxious weight in Anne’s stomach disappear. Suddenly everything was different, the atmosphere in the room had changed from one of anxious emotion to something else entirely. Whether it was love or lust, Anne could not tell. Perhaps the two feelings had become one now.

‘’I’m not quite sure what to do, you’ll have to help me.’’ Ann said suddenly. She was blushing now, but only a bit.

‘’Don’t you worry, my love’’ Anne said. ‘’I’ll show you how’’

They moved up from the middle to the bed towards the headboard, they arranged the cushions so they could lay down comfortably. Anne made Ann sit with her back against the headboard with her legs spread so she could sit between them.

She allowed herself to lean back against Ann’s soft form, feeling the heat of her skin and her breasts against her back. One of Ann’s hands found her breasts, while the other came to rest on her thigh. A soft kiss was placed on her neck, just below her ear and she let a soft sigh escape her.

She let Ann spend a while getting comfortable, kissing her neck and caressing her breasts. While it was very pleasant, there was no denying that she wasn’t used this feeling of submission and she would be lying if she said she was completely comfortable, but she trusted Ann. She trusted Ann in a way she had never trusted anyone before.

After a while, Anne turned her head to kiss Ann, the kiss softer and more tender than any they had exchanged that day. When they broke apart Anne turned to face away from her, so her view of Anne’s spread legs was unblocked.

‘’Watch me.’’ She said, as she let her right hand travel down between her legs.

She could feel Ann’s gaze upon her and she tried her utmost to not let it bother her, she slid two fingers through the slick folds and she wasn’t surprised in the slightest to feel how thick the wetness gathered there was. She moved her fingers upwards, where she wanted, no needed, the friction most. When her fingers made contact with her clit, she moaned. She had been aching all afternoon, making love to Ann had only increased her feeling of discomfort.

She spared a quick glance behind her to see if Ann was paying attention, by god she was. She was looking at Anne like she never had before, her eyes were fixed on the point where Anne’s fingers met her clit, her mouth was hanging open and she was breathing hard. Anne wanted to say something, but a moan came out instead, she had found just the right spot. Pressing two fingers to the side of her clit she massaged it, now she finally allowed herself to relax into Ann. Noticing the shift in her, the younger woman resumed her earlier actions and once again began fondling her breasts and licking and sucking at her neck. It wasn’t going to take long, she could feel her orgasm building in her lower stomach, waiting to explode out of her and Ann being here with her pushed her ever closer to her peak.

A particularly loud moan forced it’s way out of her and she could hear Ann whimper into her neck, suddenly she felt a violent need to feel Ann’s touch where she ached most. Anne lifted her hand, sticky with want, up to Ann’s cheek.

‘’Touch me, Ann’’

She cringed at the hint of desperation in her voice but Ann hadn’t seemed to notice it. She just smiled at her, her cheeks were flushed and the smile was nothing short of pure innocence. Yet, Anne spotted something else. Mischief. It sparkled in Ann’s eyes and she’d only just noticed it when Ann took hold of the hand on her cheek, the fingers, still coated in Anne’s arousal and took them into her mouth.

Anne _moaned_. She wanted to ravish this girl, she wanted to have her, take her and keep her forever. This wonderful, brilliant, beautiful, debauched girl of hers. She kissed her, quick and fierce but broke apart much too soon.

‘’Ann, I need you to touch me. Now.’’

She knew Ann was both nervous and unsure, but Anne had asked, no demanded, to be touched. How could Ann refuse? She would have given her the world, if only she’d asked. Anne was absolutely sure of that now.

Trembling hands found the wetness gathered between her legs, her touch was clumsy and too light and yet Anne still moaned. How long had it been since another woman had touched her like this? She didn’t know and she didn’t want to think of anyone but Ann, she didn’t want her mind to be anywhere else but here.

She forced her attention back to the fingers fumbling between her legs, she took two of Ann’s fingers into her own and guided them to the spot that would make her back arch. She pressed two of her own down on Ann’s fingers and let out a groan, then she began to move them in tight circles. For a few short minutes Anne guided the blonde, until the pleasure became too much. She let go of Ann’s fingers and threw her head back, the hand she just released grasped at one of Ann’s arms and with the other she grabbed the sheets so tightly her knuckles turned white.

Ann had resumed the kissing of her neck and the fingers between her legs were relentless. She took great gulps of breath, gasping and moaning low in her throat. And then Ann pressed on just the right spot.

‘’Just like that. Yes, right there. Oh… OH!’’

She ought to have felt ashamed, but this was too wonderful to be shameful.

Anne came with Ann’s name on her lips, a part of her felt it was desperate and pathetic, but another, much bigger part of her did not care in the slightest. All that mattered was Ann, one hand still moving between her legs and the other stroking her hair. This girl, this wonderful girl was all hers. If she would give Anne anything she asked for, why should Anne deny her this? Ann, so sweet, pure and kind. All she wanted was to love and to be loved. All she wanted was to make Anne feel the way she made her feel.

These thoughts made her heart swell. She grabbed hold of the hand between her legs and pulled it away, then she made to kiss Ann, she took her face in both her hands and kissed her in a way she could not find the words to describe. It was love and lust, familiarity, trust and comfort all in one. She willed Ann to understand everything that she could not say, not because she didn’t want to but because words were failing her. All she knew was that she loved Ann Walker like she had never loved anyone, she trusted her like she had never trusted anyone.

Much later, when the sun had long set, when they were laying in Ann’s bed and she was gazing at her sleeping form. Anne thought to herself that maybe, neither of them were foolish. Maybe this was just the nature of love, maybe she had never experienced true love, even if she thought she had.

It was true that they weren’t married in person, not yet, but marriage meant two people becoming one, did it not? They were destined to be together, she knew it now. On this night their souls had become one, she was sure that the people to whom these souls belonged would follow soon enough.

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you enjoyed that! I didn't think I had it in me to write anything that's not just straight up porn ;)  
> I tried my best on this but please know this is only my third fic, I'm learning new things every week and I truly hope I can be really good some day. But alas! For now, you'll have to get by with this.


End file.
